Who are my friends, or why don't I have any?

Why does it seem like I don't have any friends? Sure, I might talk to people at school and laugh with others sometimes, but I don't spend any time with anyone and I can't tell if people have in interest in me and who I am or not. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what people mean when they say things to me, and it really confuses me to try to figure out what others want from me in our conversations. Are they being polite? Do they like me? Do they want to be my friend? Do they think I'm weird? Would they want to get to know me? Are they making fun of me? Why can't I tell these things and how can I find out? And don't be one of those people who answers 'awww, well I'm you're friend.' I'm not talking fake pity stuff like that, I mean REAL, true blue, there-for-you-when-you-need-them, best, close friends.